Thots

Bwahahaha!

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 02:47:28 GMT

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Slap stupid people in the head.

And that is just what I am going to do!

Funny Christmas stuff

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 04:14:19 GMT

Funny Christmas quotes and stuff that happened (to be added to as I remember):

Me (to Jake): Hey, do you know what we are standing under?
Jake: Umm...that's not mistletoe.
Me: Close enough! *kiss*
Mom: That's my girl!

Dad: Hey Allen, pull my finger!

My grandmother having a can of "fart spray" and spraying it in my uncle's face.

Me: No, I am not going to drink it! It has the word "egg" in it, and what the heck is "nog"??!!

"Hair clip: 25 cents. Learning your lesson: Priceless."
~My Aunt, after her son lost some hair clips that he was expressly told not to play with, and which he had to find before doing anything else.

I realize that some of these might not be too funny to you. Most of them, you had to have been there.

I have really smart cousins, by the way :D.

Yes

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 18:54:40 GMT

benalene took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfi..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 06:33:58 GMT

I just wanted to say.......I love Jake.

The end.

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 16:07:25 GMT

Funny thots: Stupid quotes by famous people

"Half this game is 90% mental."
~Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
~Lee Iacocca

"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
~Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
~Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
~Al Gore, VP

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
~Bill Clinton, President

Serious thot:

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."
-Houssaye

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 17:30:03 GMT

Funny thots:
After a terrific few games of ultimate last night, I give you: Ultimate Rules!

However, do not crash into other players in an attempt to perform a leaping catch. A rule called the "principle of verticality" stipulates that each player is entitled to the space above his body. Nor can you hipcheck another player or hold them down to prevent them from jumping up to catch the disc. Anything beyond the most incedental contact between players is a foul in Ultimate (unless there's tickling involved).

In contrast to crybaby sports like soccer and basketball wherein skilled thespians refine the art of fouling and being fouled, the official ultimate rules strictly forbid any action—taunting, intentional fouls—that might be construed as bad sportsmanship.

Ultimate relies on the honor system and the belief that no one will intentionally cheat, much like marriages, the income tax system, and all-you-can-eat sushi bars.

The higher the costs of hitting any object, the greater the certainty it will be struck. (Remember - the disc is positive - both cops and old ladies are clearly negative)

Women should be allowed to carry BB pistols to get the attention of male teammates who repeatedly overlook them because they are female. (my personal favorite!)

During lightning storms one player per team will be picked at random to wear a large metal antenna on his head so that the rest of the players can continue playing without fear.

You know you have been playing too much frisbee when:
~You heckle the discus thrower at a track meet because he's too lame to throw a hammer. "The fans want a hammer!!"
~When you call a meeting at work, you ask your coworkers to "bring it in."
~You accidentally yell "UP!" while watching Monday Night Football.

Serious thot:

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
Psalm 19:1-4

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 02:51:27 GMT

Sorry guys, this issue of Funny and Serious thots is for my sisters out there. That doesn't mean that you can't laugh along too, but I seriously doubt you will appreciate it as much :D .

Funny thots:

BRA SIZES
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."
~Conan O'Brien

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

Serious thots:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy......
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them when, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ Anonymous

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. (1Peter 3:3-5)

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 03:54:37 GMT

Funny thots:

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

It will be necessary to store these bells upside down to prevent warping—that is, with the top at the bottom and the bottom at the top. To prevent mistakes and allow no doubt as to which is the bottom and which is the top, for storage purposes, it is noted that the bottom of the case is stenciled with the word “top.”
~in a church bulliten

"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
~John Mendoza

Serious thots:

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 04:08:36 GMT

Funny thots: Quotes

college is oncoming like a freight train being driven by a midget with a deathwish: he doesn't care whether he hits me or not, and he couldn't reach the pedals if he wanted to anyway.
~ http://inconspicuous54.deviantart.com/journal/5927575/

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
~ A. Whitney Brown

"It was a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."
~ Jeff Stilson

(And my personal favorite :D )
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
~ Warren Hutcherson

Serious thot:

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 02:10:35 GMT

I GOT A CAR!!!@11

yes, that did need it's own entry.

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 20:39:12 GMT

This one is extra long since I am going to be in florida for a week.

Funny thots: Things you should never hear your coxswain say...

Man, it's a good thing i brought along this lifejacket!

Oh well, you guys never liked the bowman too much anyway.

Oh well, we can always get a new boat.

What the heck does that sail boat think it's doing?!!

OK, that last drill didn't work. Turn the boat back over and we'll try again.

Everybody weigh enough. Bow and 2-seat, you have each others' oars. Exchange them now.

I wonder what kind of submarine has a periscope like that?

My name is Andre. I'm a former Pro Wrestling star from France. I'm your new coxswain.

When did they build THAT bridge??

How many times have I TOLD you, it's "Puke OPPOSITE your rigger"!!!

OK, that's it for the stroke. Seven, throw him overboard and pull his oar in.

OH CRAP!!

Serious thots:

Art, above all, is to be artful.

The conceptual framework for a biblical view of the arts and aesthetics is the doctrine of creation. God created the universe ex nihilo. He did not imitate preexisting ideal forms, as in the classical tradition, nor did He rearrange existing matter, as in the pagan creation myths. Rather, He created everything that exists. God, therefore, is the ultimate artist. The universe is God's work of art.

If the creation is God's art, painting (or drawing) what God has created becomes a way of honoring Him.

Stealing Beauty by Gene Edward Veith
an article about Christianity and Art. Here is a link to the actual article. A very good read if you are into the arts.

Frank

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 21:23:33 GMT

Funny thots:

Sticking your finger in the toaster when your pop-tarts are ablaze is always something you will regret. ~Bradley Greive

Darth Vader at a formal dinner table is a bit odd...
~the best and worst moments in Star Wars

A morning without coffee is like something without something else.

So our story ends with a psycho contractor guy.
~Frank by the W's

Serious thots:

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.

Tragedy

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 20:43:47 GMT

I was just thinking, I really can't remember all the funny and serious thots I have posted previously, so if I repeat 1 or 52 of them, then just let it slide. It will happen eventually, if it hasn't already. With that being said....

Funny thots: Quotes

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. ~George Burns

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. ~Mel Brooks

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~Mark Twain

People don't just live in Venezuela and have children.
~my brother (heh, guess you had to be there :P )

Serious thots:

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 04:07:18 GMT

Eh, I am going to make this separate because it is public. I am going to start making my lj mostly friends only, for various reasons, of which I don't feel like explaining all of them on here. I am going to start posting my funny and serious thots again, which will remain public, but personal stuff is going to be friends only. So, um, yeah. Here you go.

Funny thots: Stupid Product Labels

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users:
“May irritate eyes”

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard
warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”

A label with a hair dryer reads,
“Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

A household iron warns users:
“Never iron clothes while they are being worn”

A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to
play in the dishwasher."

A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to
“Remove child before folding”

A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions:
“This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”

Serious thot:

To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure.
Titus 1:15

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 03:49:41 GMT

Listening to the rain and thinking about Jake.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 00:12:55 GMT

God is so amazing! After THREE weeks, I finally got to see Jake. And all was right with the world. Once again, I am at a loss for words. Words can't describe this weekend. God showed both of us stuff that we needed to know. That maybe we had kind of been slacking a little on the spiritual side of our relationship. God has blessed me so much.

On deviantart, this one guy had a poll that asked how do you feel. Well, to be honest, there isn't an answer to say how I feel. I feel great because of the blessed weekend I just had, but I feel down because that weekend had to end and I had to say goodbye to Jake. Saying goodbye does not get easier.

I am really hungry.

Sarah out.

Wait, am I Sarah number 2 or Sarah number 3??

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 01:20:09 GMT

List your current top 7 favorite songs, and then tag 7 other people to participate in this endeavor.

1. State of Mind - 38th Parallel
2. Cornerstone - Day of Fire
3. Wait for Me - Rebecca St. James
4. Never Alone - BarlowGirl
5. A Little More - Skillet
6. Grace Like Rain - Todd Agnew
7. Girl America - Mat Kearney

1. I don't
2. have 7
3. people in
4. my friend's
5. list.
6. So all
7. of them.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 21:19:30 GMT

Hokay. Much worry and stress for the past two days, of which Jake is the only one who really knows the extent of, though mom could see a little stress (though she never saw the tears.) Much relief and gratefullness today. I went in to the vet clinic today, and was able to talk with the vet. I explained to her that I felt like two jobs were more than I could handle, and I apologized profusely, but I told her that I would work this weekend and next week, so that she would have time to find someone else, but that I was going to quit. She was very understanding, for which I thanked her for. She thought that the reason I was sticking with cracker barrel instead of her was because, as she said, "I am sure that cracker barrel pays better." I told her that was not the case, just that I could transfer to huntsville when I go back to school, to which she said that it was better then that I keep cracker barrel. Like I said, she was very understanding, and very grateful that I was going to stay through next week. And I don't think that this weekend is going to be as bad as originally expected. The clinic is not open on weekends, so I will not be having to bathe and clip dogs, just take the dogs out in the morning and feed them. One problem, though. She wanted me to come in in the morning and the evening, which I am working both evenings at cracker barrel. So I asked her if I could bring my brother in the morning with me, so I could show him what to do and he could come back in the evenings to take out the dogs again. She said that was fine. God is so good. I am so thankful that Dr. Harbin has been so understanding.

Anywho, I do not have work tonight. Woohoo! There is frisbee at 5:30. I am still trying to get over a head cold. Jake is amazing.

I forgot to add that I got bit by a dog today, watched another dog get spayed, shaved three dogs and got scratched by one pretty good, and saw some little rottweiler puppies getting their tails docked. I think that is so cruel. I would say a pretty good day at the vets :P.

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:09:43 GMT

Ok, so taking two jobs might not have been the smartest thing to do. Both have me working this weekend. This is what this weekend looks like:
Saturday 7:30~12 vet
1:45-9 cracker barrel
Sunday 7:30~9 vet
9~11:30 church (though I might leave early depending on how much I have to do at the vet.)
12~1 finish at vet
2:45-9:30 cracker barrel

So basically I have no weekend this weekend. This is never going to happen again, even if I have to quit the vet job. But, the good thing about next week is that I don't work at cracker barrel again until thursday, so I will mostly just be working at the vets in the mornings next week. And, I am going to request to not have to work next weekend, because I really need to see Jake. Like, it will have been three weeks. Of no Jake. I wish this summer were over already. Wait, I wished that the first day of summer vacation.

I have also been thinking, I don't know if I want to work this fall semester. There is so much going on already, and my schedule is so messed up anyway, I don't know if I can work next fall. Hmm... I might could work a couple of hours during the day on mondays, wednesdays, and thursdays, but I do not want to work on fridays or weekends. I just don't. I already have way too much going on. Classes, crusade (which we are planning a lot for the first six weeks), crew, and I don't think that I want to work at all. Blah, I hate growing up. I sound like a baby. Ok, just disregard all of the above paragraph.

I miss Jake. No, like really miss him.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 18:24:26 GMT

Hmm...wow, I have now officially started both of my jobs. Last night, I started at cracker barrel. Basically I got paid to just stand there. Apparently, I was supposed to learn something (just kidding!). There is a lot to do! Or you just have to know how to do a lot of things. But I absolutely love the atmosphere at cracker barrel. All the employees are so nice, and my trainer was making sure to go over everything with me. I get my own register tonight!

This morning (bright and early at 7:30), I started at the vet clinic. There is a lot of upkeep stuff that I am going to be doing, and a lot of stuff they have me doing now is stuff that should have been done all along, but just kind of got forgotten. Some of the cages hadn't been used in a while and needed to be cleaned and dusted. I have to feed and take the dogs out as soon as I get there. I will be bathing and clipping dogs. Laundry. Mopping floors. I have to work every other weekend, but I get paid extra on weekends, so that is a good thing. I have to go into cracker barrel tonight and change my availability so that I don't work in the mornings. The vet job is going to be good. The atmosphere isn't as great, but the people are nice, and I love being around animals. It is just going to be a lot more work. Physically, the work is much harder than cracker barrel, but it is just the dirty jobs that no one else wants to do, like cleaning poop and cages. The good thing is that the hours are kind of flexible. I have to get there at 7:30, but as long as I get everything done, I can leave before 12. Just depending on what needs to be done will determine how long I have to be there.

So, this is going to be my life for the next two months. Joy. I don't think I am going to have to worry about having enough money to get a car before next semester. Yeeesssssss.......

More than I can handle??

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 21:24:45 GMT

Ok. It is official. I have two (2) jobs! I sure hope this can work out, because if it can't, I am going to have to drop the vet job. I am going to be working 7:30-12 in the mornings and only every other weekend. As long as cracker barrel will let me work just in the evenings, this can be a good thing (I hope). I start at the vet wednesday, bright and early at 7:30! Basically, all I am going to be doing is taking the dogs out, clipping any dogs that need it, and cleaning cages that need it. On weekends, it is going to be more cleaning the facility. God, please let this work out, and let me not have gotten into more than I can handle!

More good news: this lady just came by to look at the drawing. She loves it! But there were just a couple of things that she wanted me to fix, which is perfectly fine with me. I guarantee 100% satisfaction. I knew there would be things that she would pick up that I wouldn't, she being the mother of these kids! So I kind of expected her to ask me to fix a couple of things. Anywho, I am $50 closer to a car!!

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:24:43 GMT

Aaah...I am feeling much better. Turns out, my brother wanted to go to the fitness center, so we went together. The running, erging, sit-ups, swimming, and laying out all helped my mood. I even have a tan line! Yes. I feel much better. And I feel more motivated to go to the fitness center every day now. I am so out of shape! I could barely do 10 minutes on the erg machine! Anywho, there is a storm coming, which is also helping my mood a little. I think I am going to sit down and try to finish this drawing.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:39:53 GMT

Ok, so I went into my interview today at the vet clinic. The vet seemed very interested in the fact that I already had experience working at a veterinary clinic before. She didn't seem so keen on the fact that I would have to leave in august, and that I had another job that I might have to work around. So, I would say that it is about 50/50 whether or not I get this job. She said that she was going to interview 3 other people, and let me know by next week. Either way would be fine with me, actually. It might be hard to try to work out two jobs, and I have not talked with cracker barrel about this yet, either. Oh, well, I guess I will just have to see what happens next week.

In other news, our dryer broke. I really need to finish this drawing for this lady, but I don't feel motivated to do it right now. I want to start on another personal drawing, but I probably need to finish this one first. The sooner I finish it, the sooner I get paid. That should be motivation enough. I miss Jake. The music keeps me up at night. I really need to clean my room. I want to go to the fitness center, but I hate going by myself, and nobody else wants to go. I started working on my scrapbook yesterday, but didn't really feel motivated to do that either. Blah.

What do you do when you feel like God is leading you somewhere, and everyone else seems to be telling you to do something different? I know the answer to this. At Lowe's today (remember, our dryer broke) the guy that came to help us was asking me about college, where I go, and what I am majoring in. Well, of course I tell him art, and he just shook his head, and he said, "Art? You ain't going to go anywhere with art. No, what you need is computers." I told him that I was taking graphics design courses, and he is like, "Good, good, and you also need to take this, this, and this..." Well, let me rephrase that, he said that I couldn't go anywhere with art around this area. I would have to move to california or something. To be honest, I have no clue what God wants me to do with this, or where He wants me to do this. But I do know that art is where God has blessed me, and He is blessing me now with commissions, what I really want to do. My dad is the same way. He thinks I should get into computers, even though I would not be as happy, instead of keeping with traditional art. I am just tired of people trying to tell me what I should do with my life. "Oh, you can't do that! You should do this, so that you can make more money!" Well, let me tell you something, I am not doing it for the money! I know that God has called me into this field for a reason. And I don't think that it was for the money!

Wow, I did not mean to go on that rant. *sigh* Haha, it was funny when I told that guy that I was an art major, mom made sure to let him know that I was not one of those "weird art people." So what if I was. I like people who break out of boundaries, who go against cultural norms. I wish I were more like them, and not afraid of what people thought about me. Then maybe I would be more open about my faith. Instead of being "oh, what if they think i am weird?"

I did it again. Blarg. I should just delete all of this. Please don't take anything I say the wrong way. When I say "cultural norms" I don't mean anything against God's word. Just what society has come to generally accept as 'normal.' Whatever that is. Does anybody have a clue what I am talking about??

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:25:37 GMT

Woah! I might have two jobs! One of the veterinary clinics that I turned in an application to just called me this morning for an interview. Of course, I can't go today, because I have to go in to Cracker Barrel, but she made it sound like she only had part time work for me, which is great, because I might be able to do both jobs this way! I would much rather work at the vet clinic, but Cracker Barrel might be better since I can transfer when I go back to school. I am not sure what I am going to do, but I am going in for an interview tomorrow and just talk to the lady at the vet clinic about it.

ph33r my geeky-ness

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:35:20 GMT

Yes, I have installed Ruby and have actually learned some programming! Really, the most advanced thing I have done so far is to make a program that asks for your name and gives a rude response if your name is 'Allen' or just say 'Hello, ' + name + '! How are you today?' if you type anything else. Mainly just to make my brother feel inferior.

In other news, for those of you who don't know, I have a job! Yes, I am now working at Cracker Barrel, though I am still just going through training, and probably will be for the next week.

Bonnaroo is this weekend. I think they said that they had sold over 190,000 tickets. Joy. All in my backyard. Well, not literally, but they are less than a mile away. Which practically means that they are in my backyard. Yeah.

Other than that, my life is pretty boring. I still have not started exercising like I said I was going to. We have had frisbee a little bit, but not nearly as much as last summer. We played today and it was really hot and humid. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for the humidity. It is not fair, either, guys can take off their shirts :P.

Ok. Must finish drawings. Get sleep. Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

Peace, love, and tomatoes.